them "problem-solvers?" You know the type, the ones who will be offering
up solutions to things even before listening to the remainder of what
you are trying to share with them. I ran across this excerpt from the
book "Leadership Presence" and I feel it captures the issue very well.
>Here's the trouble: problem-solving alone not only fails to create good
relationships, it's anathema to them. It creates a me-you orientation
and implies "I'm going to fix your problem, which obviously you haven't
been able to fix." It does nothing to create a sense of "us."<
The authors offer a suggestion for people who have a strong
problem-solving tendency to "listen for the subtext, the meaning and
especially the emotion communicated beneath the spoken words."
Very interesting...
4 comments:
Very interesting indeed...I know some of these "problem solvers" personally....I often wonder if they have any concept of how they come across. Do they really desire to be of help to others, and they just happen to be rude, or is it all part of some self gratifying ego trip they are on??? I wonder....
I have been doing a lot of reading and research into personality themes (AKA talents or strengths) and self-awareness and I think a lot of our behavior is not very well known. The problem-solvers that I know seem almost incapable of restraining themselves from this type of "help-offering" even when it is pointed out.
Another interesting aspect is when you are chastised for pointing these things out and made the bad-guy for not wanting to accept something so freely offered. Human psychology, behavior, and interaction are so very interesting.
Thanks for your comment.
You mention interaction being interesting in the study of human behavior, among other things. I had an entertaining thought when reading these entries. Have you ever witnessed the interaction between a problem-solver, as you label them, and someone who doesn't get to the main point quickly. It's rather like a dog chacing its tail. Futile. I wonder if there is an issue in play here of a need to get to resolution more quickly then the 'story-teller' is willing to go. Long winded types are as equally frustrating as self-gratifying help givers. Yes, human psychology, behavior, and interaction can keep me entertained for a life time. I do love it though. This world would be a boring place without all its variety.
A couple of points to the point:
1.) Who says a dog chasing it's tail is futile? They seem to enjoy it for the activity sake.
2.) The "problem-solving" I was writing about was not a reaction to long-windedness, more a supposition from the "listener" that the speaker was in need of something other than a desire to share.
But thanks for the perception from the other side. Indeed variety is the spice of life.
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